A LEAF

 ("Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.")

I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During 3 years, I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend,I learned a feeling I never should have learn-jealousy. The sourness in the heart can’t be described by using a lemon. It’s like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a month, he got together with another gal.

I like him and I know he likes me. But why won’t he pursue me? Since he loves me why he doesn’t want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he doesn’t like me, why does he treat me so well? It’s beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can’t expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, love him. Hoping that one day, he will come and love me. It’s like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through and I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of time, a gust wind begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm and gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. I want to leave the tree because I feel he didn't recognize my presence and didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of wind pursuit. Or because tree didn't ask her to stay.